Novemver 21, 2005 - Shellee

Maybe I’m in Milwaukee? No, it’s some kind of wilderness-y, farm-y place, like Ucross. Except the whole Milwaukee extended family is there. The part that is the most vivid is:

I’m in one of the cabins, sleeping on the floor next to Shellee, her knee touching my stomach. I am very attracted to her and at the same time have the thought that her knee is the sharpest knee ever. She’s upset and we end up getting close. I think she’s kind of laying on top of me. There is a sexual feeling, but no sexual behavior really, just intimacy. She begins to talk to me about her problems, how she feels, etc. She reveals to me some really negative thought that she is hesitant to tell me. Maybe having to do with suicide. Something dark. I tell her that I have the same thought from time to time.

At some point the setting shifts to a warehouse/basement type place. Really during the above conversation. As we’re talking, and I’m telling her that I bet even Gary has these thoughts, my mom drifts into the scene from the background somewhere and interupts the conversation.